For GurtyGurt...

From Comments page
Good idea! I was bored, so I decided to do a search using carefully picked words from your page! Unfortunately, the front page isn't cached yet, so my first attempt of 'homophobe naked arse stampede game' got rejected...

So now guess which one is mine! I didn't say when I did it, did I? :P
GurtyGurt@LoS | Email | Homepage | 01.24.03 - 5:21 pm | #

Just for GurtyGurt, we have now added a new obscene word combo to our Google listing.

Yay!

I'm Blue, da-da-de-da-de-da

Ahh. More Sakura goodness. And blue. That will certainly quell those persistent flamers who call us gay, because blue is manly and butch.

Beer. Football. Steak. Chicks.

Tigris: Real Life Comics has a DDR-related comic for 23rd Jan, Thursday.

The joys of Paranoia...

Shoujo TIGRIS Panic is Back!!

What, you think I don't like the ego boost? Now my name is on the front page twice!!! Bwa ha haha haha ahahahaha!!!
In other notes, I've been an read a certain teams notice board, and I would like to apologise to those people I summarily lumped into the same category as the Terries who felt the need to rain on our bright pink parade.

In other news, I have a new mouse. My old Mac puck finally died when some kid decided to hammer it to death, so I now have a Microsoft Optical Blue. Wheee. Wheels and red light!!! Wooooo!!!

Tigris: *NYAHAHHAAA!!!*

Panic: I guess this was pretty obvious.

Tigris: Childish? Me?

Profound Profanities

Thanks to our special guests ZenitH@LoS, Memphis@RTF, dfogx, cams & kups, who have been gracing us with their badly spelled, mystical taunts and tantrums and profoundly bad grammar recently. I mean, I've flamed people before but my severe lack of ability to hammer MAX300 mirrored & reversed with a boost in ONI mode means that I can't even insult people to the level that this brilliant comment does.

I mean, obviously these guys are good. They're really good at DDR. Probably because they don't do anything else other than play DDR. Which, of course would explain why they can only write comments that look like they were headbutted into a mobile phone by a drunken muppet, who is in turn being puppeteered by a drunken puppeteer.

Oh and to clear up some misconceptions :

No, we're not Gay Tigris is actually a girl, and Panic and I are single but looking

You didn't teach us to DDR I read a walkthrough on the net, then dragged Panic along, and we conned Tigris into it. We're proudly self taught

Capital Letters should be used for the first word of every sentence as well proper nouns (such as names, etc).

Oh, and while we do collectively call this website "Candyboys", we don't have to attach it to our 'handle' like some members of 'teams' do. This would be because we're comfortable with our heterosexuality and do not have to consequently 'prove it' like other members of the male gender who are desperately trying to stifle their rising homosexual urges.

Thanks for visiting. though.

^_^

[Panic EDIT]: I took the liberty of correcting Bill's misspelling of 'grammar', for obvious reasons. Oh how embarrassing. Really, Bill, we can't afford to look foolish in front of these influential gentlemen! Why, we'd be the laughing stock of all retarddom. Tsk tsk. Also, I was hardly dragged to the dancing stage: I was in fact the epitome of boyish enthusiasm, and as I recall, our original plan was to embark upon an adventure to the land of Danser Révolutionnaire together, like the raging homofags we are. I mean aren't. Oh what a give-away. Finally, it's hardly accurate to say that I'm looking for a girlfriend: I'm not nearly so proactive as that. And do these fellows really need to know anything about our private lives? I think not. But no matter, the bit about the puppets was good. Just be sure to report to my office later for a damn good spanking, what! Yes indeed.

For those of you who came in late...

Just recently, our lovely webnet page here was spat upon by some irate nobodies who, for whatever reason, take exception to our existence. We know very little about them, but here are a few facts we have managed to compile about them from their almost incoherent ravings in our commenty boxes... ravings which, incidentally, are littered throughout the entire archives of this blog, all the way back to September, way before we even had commenty boxes. That's right, they arrived at this website, decided we were a bunch of losers not worth the time of day, and went through the entire fucking archives, leaving their droppings on almost every other post any of us have ever made. So sad, and yet, I'm laughing.

+ They, like us, play DDR here in Brisbane, and they know who we are! And they laugh at us! They laugh!!

+ They have cute girlfriends, which proves that they do not enjoy having sex with other men, unlike us. (Especially you, Shawn, you homo.)

+ They have a lot of trouble with tricky things like irony, any sort of humour whatsoever, the English language, and, it would seem, faggots.

+ They smell bad.

Dear reader, you can of course browse their comments and draw your own conclusions, but I know that many of you are not fluent in Retard, so I'll post some selected translations for your convenience:

Gentlemen, you are undoubtedly of the homosexual persuasion, and this offends us!

We know that you are homosexuals because you are homosexuals, and that makes you homosexuals.

You homosexuals, and indeed the general public, are not welcome at Replay! We must insist that the entire business be reserved for we few, and a handful of our non-homosexual friends.

We have every right to make this demand, since we are not homosexuals.

Para Para Paradise is a homosexual game played by homosexuals. While it is unquestionably manly to enter an amusement centre and pay money to jump around like a retard in front of a flashy screen, it cannot and must not be denied that to enter an amusement centre and pay money to wave one's hands about like a retard in front of a flashy screen is the absolute extreme of homosexual behaviour. You fags.

See, guys like this are incapable of having fun. They can't just play DDR and accept that they might look a bit silly -- no, no, no, they have to find some other, slightly more unpopular but otherwise arbitrarily chosen pastime to pick on, so that they have something, anything in the world, anything they can get, to feel bigger than, to justify -- to themselves -- their own behaviour. Jeebus, you fucking morons, grow some balls! Just do whatever the fuck it is you have to do, and let others do the same. If you were anything other than a bunch of fucking pussies, you wouldn't react so absurdly, embarrassingly sensitively to a fucking humour weblog run by a trio of self-confessed newbie idiots who don't give a fuck about any of you and never indicated otherwise. I mean, who the fuck are you idiots? If I weren't such an apathetic, self-absorbed bastard, I'd feel sorry for you.

Folks, I'm going to wrap it up by cutting and pasting a comment I wrote to these paramecia in one of the commenty boxes below. It says just about all there is to say, I think. Enjoy...

HOT NAKED CUT AND PASTE ACTION:

Hmmm. We got a shitload of hits from some messageboard somewhere a little while back... maybe our new best friends here decided this would be a nice website to latch onto and prove their blossoming masculinity to.

Look, kids. We know you got here by searching for videogame porn. That's fine. We're not here to judge. But listen: almost all the people I've ever met at the arcades around here playing DDR have been friendly, helpful and easy-going, and Bill, Shawn and myself tend to respond in kind to such behaviour. So I'm going to assume that you guys, known henceforth as Club Homophobe, are in the minority, and, as is the way, ignore you. Except to point at you and laugh with my friends. If for some reason you feel intimidated or offended by this website, by all means, do fuck off. We just don't want to waste our time reading through such hypersensitive bullshit.

And since you know who we are, why don't you come up and introduce yourselves next time you see one of us? You'll find we're actually really nice, and magnanimously forgiving. Except for Bill maybe, he can be a right bastard, but dammit, he's just so cuddly you can't help but love him.

OMG!!1 WAHT A FAGOT!!!!lol!!

Also, we give free spelling lessons.

If there's anyone here from the Brisbane scene (oh my god, 'scene') who knows who we are and doesn't inexplicably loathe us, howdy! Nice to meet you. Let's have a game sometime.

END EDIT... and, eheh, sorry for invading your post here, Bill.